Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month
don’t buy me chocolate chip cookies unless you are prepared for me to pick through every single one until i find the one with the most chocolate
A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.
You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.
A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.
You are in a garden, and you are astonished.
my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
this is great
sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.
Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE
but not as embarrassing as getting mistaken for a trashcan
that moment when everyone in your class finished the test and you’re the only one doing it